Controlling what you say takes a remarkable amount of self-control. It is so easy to get caught up in a moment (a negative one!) and say terrible things to people, even our loved ones. Our feelings have a unique way of clouding our judgment and temporarily controlling our rationale, leading us to justify our actions at the time and later suffer regret and remorse. While it is inevitable that we will occasionally hurt those around us, a majority of these situations can be avoided. If we remember that our words have an amazing ability to affect relationships, and people (including ourselves), we will be more conscious of what we say to others, even in moments of anger, fear, grief, and pain.

There are many moments that come to mind when I read this quote, both where words cost someone and where words withheld saved a relationship from the brink of collapse. It is essential that we take time to response and think about the longterm effects of our words and whether we are willing to let upset over a current event destroy the future of a relationship because we are hurting.

Even if our words do not destroy a relationship, they do leave an imprint on it and those words affect the relationship long after they have said, destabilizing trust and creating distance where there was once none. So let's take the time to think through things before we react, it definitely takes time to implement and master but as many people around us can testify, it is well worth the time and effort as it not only saves us heartache but also makes us better people in the process.

It is really hard to believe that my first year of college is over. It was definitely a year to remember, for many reasons. It was often overwhelming and intense but I learned so much about myself and various topics and subjects. Here are a few things that stand out from my first year of college as well as some tips/suggestions for those of you who are approaching college in the next couple of years.

1) Academics are important, but their importance is determined by you.

We all put such emphasis in high school on academics in order to get into college and take part in extracurriculars. This emphasis needs to continue in college in order for success. Unlike in high school, success in college is largely depended on your own discipline and effort which tends to trip people up from time to time. One thing I noticed (and was very disturbed by) was the number of my classmates who skipped class on a frequent basis. Many of whom talked about turning off their alarms because they were "wayy too tired" or just "couldn't be bothered coming to class". This may seem trivial but it is important to realize that college professors will not insist you come to class and/or put in the effort needed to do well in their classes. That responsibility is yours alone; so make wise choices and figure out your priorities early on!

2) Get in touch (and stay in touch!) with your advisor/s

Getting to know your counselor early on and establishing a relationship with them is important as they are there to guide you through college academics and offer help/suggestions/advices in order for you to make the best decisions to suit your college and career goals. This relationship has to be initiated by you; advisors need to see your investment in yourself and your future in order to help you.

3) Take fun/unusual classes

Almost all degree programs have so many requirements (general and major-specific) that is often hard to think of taking a class just for the fun or because it interests you. But if you can manage to put at least one in a year, I fully recommend it! I think it is especially helpful to do this your first semester/quarter in college; then you have one class where you can (sort of!) relax and just enjoy learning. Ideally, you can take a fun class that fulfills a general education requirement so you can enjoy the benefits of both having a fun class and fulfilling a graduation requirement. It really helps to break up the intense exam/paper cycle that college students often find themselves in.

4) Be prepared to be overwhelmed at times

Being overwhelmed freshman year is not only normal but expected. College no matter how prepared you are (academically, socially, and mentally) is a huge transition that requires a great deal of time and patience. The important thing to remember is your reason for being there and what you hope to achieve/gain. It also helps take time for yourself and do things you enjoy to de-stress and relax.

5) College is ultimately what you make of it

We all have our reasons for going to college and reasons for selecting the college we  attend. But there are definitely societal and peer pressures that lead you to believe that the ideal college experience has to go a certain way. Socializing must be done a certain way, otherwise you are considered anti-social. You have to be seen at certain gatherings and in the inner circles to know "what's up". While this may be the way for some or most of us, it is not the way for everyone. I have a few people who come to mind when it comes to the latter. They prefer to make friends outside the usual social scenes and dislike the constant insistence from those around them to go to every event and gathering on campus. If that sounds like you, know that while you may be be told otherwise, college will not be a less rewarding experience if you choose to do it your own way. If you put in wholehearted effort and stay committed to doing your personal best, it will be a wonderful experience with many great memories and lessons (academic and nonacademic) learned. College like life, is ultimately what you make of it.

This is definitely something I need to be reminded of more often. As important as it is to think carefully and make a plan, sometimes not having one and just hoping for the best is the way to go. This is especially true in situations where we are not sure of what the best path is; our foresight can only show us so much and is based on very limited information. For that reason, trust is essential; God only knows that of late, I am not so sure of what the future may hold nor what I want it to either. So instead of worrying about the uncertainties and fears I have, I hope to develop a greater level of trust in God's plan as he knows what I don't. With that in mind, I hope for a peaceful state of mind, the strength to endure whatever life brings my way and the ability to thrive despite all the challenges that surely lie ahead.